never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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