There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
whose parrot is this?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
