Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
