You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
