you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
