just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
