we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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