I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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