i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
