We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
