My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
