You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
