Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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