if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
do herpes really smell.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
