it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
