Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
