i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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