i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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