She's JV to your varsity
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
