The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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