She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
