i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
