Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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