You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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