I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
