you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
