thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
