you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
