My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
