East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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