Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
