wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
