Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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