Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
