I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
