I cockslap morals
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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