Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
