You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
