ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize