is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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