my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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