Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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