just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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