i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
