She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she peed on how many people?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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