Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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