I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
