so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
