Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
