What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
